It’s been a minute since I blogged, primarily because of the baby, the new job and of course, the ever challenge and fear of me getting too personal with my situations. Nevertheless, back by popular demand, as I introduce to some and reintroduce to othersà ME.
As I approach another birthday, I find the need to purge emotionally, mentally and spiritually and put closure on some things in my life. I probably need to purge physically, but that would be a clear sign of anorexia and you know Black girls are not known for that….anyway- As they say, out with the old and in with the new. There are some things that I just need to "throw the towel in" on–primarily relationships-and start a new journey. In actuality I am very upset with myself, in all honestly it shouldn't take 365 days for me (or you) to realize something isn’t working or someone isn’t working in my (your) best interest, but as women what do we do....we drag our feet, we make excuses, we know that “moving on” is so hard to do and we say things like “moving on isn’t really in our nature”. We are emotional, we are sensitive and we are expected to bear the burden and do it all for everybody. I know you are like what is Phillysugamamma talking about. I’m talking about anything in general that is not working in your life, specifically today; I am talking about the current dating situation many of my friends are in.
Well ladies (and gentlemen) its 2012, and our mothers, grandmothers, aunts and sisters are dying from stress, heart disease, cholesterol, broken hearts and every health disparity that is indicative of not putting our own needs first. We have to stop making excuses, and do what is best for us. Remove people from our lives that do not deserve to be in the front row-or in the audience for that matter. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you get rid of the dead weight in your life. Sometimes we block our own blessings.
My new motto:
If it makes me sad, it’s gone
If it makes me mad, I’m gone.
Every person knows their breaking point but why should we wait until then...maybe you didn’t get the promotion you deserved, maybe he didn’t come home, maybe he said he can’t leave her yet…Well what are YOU going to do about it? Sit around and wait for more disappointment? Most often we see the dead end before we get to the end of the road. When we see it coming, we need to begin to rethink the direction we are going in and re-channel our energy. Turn around, forge another path, make our own way.
Whatever the breaking point is for you, know when to throw the towel in before it gets thrown on you. I have 58 days to get rid of the BS, and I’m starting today. Can’t turn another year older, and not learn from the mistakes of the past year and not do something different. It’s time to start another chapter.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Friday, August 19, 2011
what is a lie?
According to Wikipedia, the free on-line encyclopedia, a lie (also called prevarication, falsehood) is a type of deception in the form of an untruthful statement, especially with the intention to deceive others. To lie is to state something with disregard to the truth with the intention that people will accept the statement as truth.
The other day at happy hour, I was having a conversation with one of my girls...about lying. We were trying to categorize what a lie is. She said a lie is when you purposely do not tell the truth. I agreed with her. I then added that I thought lying was also when you do not answer questions at all or purposely leave pieces out. You know- when people avoid the question entirely and change the subject or when you ask a double wammy question and the person only answers one part on purpose.So at that very moment, at luck would have it, a living breathing example of a lie appeared. I found out a guy I had been crushing on actually had a girlfriend. Here's how it went down. Picture this we are at happy hour and we are talking about a book my girlfriend just read that I am now reading, called A Belle In
So anyway we are all at happy hour sitting at the bar -glancing at the book- me, some friends and my crush. Now I definitely know when I met him, he didn’t have a girl-and in all honestly I didn’t want to be his girl (at that point). So we are talking about the book and the single life and I am sure that we all fall victim to the he didn’t answer my question situation so pay attention. He says “the book is about the single life? I’m not reading that.” My girl says, “it’s a good book…well...are you single?” A pregnant pause happens here, the subject changes and he orders a drink. WTF!! In that very instance I said “see, he just lied to us. Weren’t we just talking about lies.” My girl, who is a very good listener, says “oh no he said he didn’t have a girl, he was single.” I pointed out “no, he didn’t answer the question”. She says “no he said he was single.” I call him over and repeat the question, he looks at me, as she says “didn’t you say you were single.” He says “no, you’re right I didn’t answer the question.” I reiterated the point and that’s when he said, “yeah you right I didn’t answer.” Finally he mumbles something that sounded like he said “I’m not single.”
He never told me.
He didn’t answer the question until I pointed it out.
He lied to me.
I’m not calling him a liar, but….if the bow tie fits…A liar is a person who is lying, who has previously lied, or who tends by nature to lie repeatedly—even when not necessary. Lying is typically used to refer to deceptions in oral or written communication. Other forms of deception, such as disguises or forgeries, are generally not considered lies, though the underlying intent may be the same.Serious lies (such as perjury, fraud, and defamation) are punishable by law.
Men who lie about their relationship status in my humble opinion should be punished by law. Unfortunately and fortunately there are enough women that they can tell the truth about their relationship status and they will still get what they want from them. Why lie?
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