+ 1

Picture This....
You got tickets to a slamming concert! An artist you love, who do you take?
A new restaurant opened and you are dying to try it, who do you go with?
You get an invitation to a wedding, it says _____________ <---your name here  +1...who gets the honor?

How can a girl have so many options, but NO options at all? Does that even make sense?  Of course it doesn't. It's only me and I make stuff up in my head.  

As a young  educated, professional, beautiful African American woman living in #Philly, I have lots of options when it comes to dates-guys I know, guys I went to school with, guys I met along lifes trails, guys I am following/friends with on social media networks (and those that follow me :-)) .BUT sometimes when I really examine the "list" for a social event, work event etc, I realize I don't have such a plethera of options. I do not want to feel forced to take someone I'd rather not take, for the sake of saying I have a date when the truth is that something about them irks me or turns me off.  Sometimes I wish I could take this persons face and put it on this persons body; take this persons brain and place it in this persons head; take this persons sense of humor and put it on another body; stretch this person out, make him a little taller...take his manerisms give them to him...you get my drift...right? 

 

THEN half of these busters when I think about it maybe I dont REALLY know. The dating phase we see in movies, and shows..or used to see for that matter, doesnt seem to be happening. With the invention of the internet-social media networks, skype, tango and the likes have made dating in 2012 very challenging. Deja Vu'! I feel like I have typed that before...you often know too much or too little about a person before a in person meeting. We have no social skills The average "get to know" period shrinks, because people become to familiar with each other too fast.  No courting needed.  Hi, my twitter name is ____, meet my "representative"...I say representative because you never truly meet the REAL person behind that avi until its too late. By then you have invited a person into your life, you normally wouldnt have given a second  thought. You are suckered in, you took him somewhere ( to an event ) he should not have been invited to, was  introduced to your "peeps" and now you have a person listed in your phone as "Do Not Answer"

*SIGH*

#mylife

Ladies...Ease Up..

Is it okay for YOUR man to go to the strip club...I say yes, sure it is, but then again he isn't my man. He is yours.

It is okay for my man to go to the strip club? Hell yeah!

You probably thought I was going to say no.  No way!  If that is what he enjoys, then let him go to the damn strip club with the boys.  He doesnt stop you from going to your book club meetings, the hair salon, and other places us women like to "escape" to or frequent on a regular basis.  Give him his space. Let him go. Let him go there, so when he gets home, he knows how to appreciate what he has at home. 

For most men, its a place to view some eye candy, let his "hair down" and kick it with his boys.  Now if he has a serious porn addition that's something else, and something I don't intend to address in this here forum.  But I have been to the strip club enough times with guys, now that I have gotten older, to realize that it is all in fun and that the women are mere "backdrops" of the venue that are frequenting. Don't feel pressured to do anything he said he saw, or things you think he saw, SOME of that stuff is strictly for entertainment purposes and you need to be properly trained to do it! LOL! I aint lyin'!

What I really think is, heck you should go with him! You might learn a few new tricks to try at home AND you wont have to pay for your drinks while you are there. Remember to do what you feel is comfortable to spice up your sex life.  Don't feel pressured, to be a "stripper" at home but dont be a prude either.  That wont work.

There is a balance to everything. Trust me.

Now what I dont think we need are herds of women flocking to the strip clubs without men.  Its not our gathering place, although we are welcome. (Some places wont let you in after a certain time without a guy) Let the boys have something to themselves unless you are invited.  You go in there half naked and dancing -taking attention from the people who get paid to do what you are often "imitating".  You dont tip the ladies.  That's not fair to them.  From what I was told they pay to be able to dance in those establishments.  So ladies don't go if you're not invited and don't be a nuisance.