I dont need you to tango...or do I?

So a little while ago when I was checking up on my celebrity gossip I discovered low and behold-guess who they said was/is pregnant with twins??? Kim Kardashian’s sister.  Yup. Khloe.  The headlines are swearing she is pregnant with twins and being clear to mention that this isn’t the official announcement because her and Lamar do not want to overshadow Kim’s wedding. Gimme-a-break. I mean of course, several questions come to mind…how far along is she?  How do they know its twins? Did she get in vitro fertilization? Why is in vitro fertilization among celebs the thing to do?  The reason these many of these celebs are running to do with has more to do with choice than need.  I believe they want to choose the number of kids (twins, triplets, the sex, timing etc), rather than let nature take its course. Well I am here to tell you it isn’t just our favorite celebrities J-Lo, Kloe Kardashian, Evelyn from basketball Wives (she wants twins) getting in vitro.  Your next door neighbor, you co-worker and your college roomate are all doing it.  However their reasons are slightly different.

IVF or in vitro fertilization remains one of the more effective solutions to infertility. The numbers of successful births from IVF have steadily grown in the last decade. However, it is still an expensive procedure, costing upwards of $12,000 per cycle and often requiring multiple cycles.  Growing up, old folks used to say that in vitro fertilization was the thing “white women” did.  It wasn’t until I got older that I learned that after a certain age the percentage of African American women and Caucasian women who use assisted reproductive technology’s (ART) such as in vitro fertilization were about equal.   Most of these women have decided on ART-not completely because they are having infertility issues, but because they are having man issues.  They long for a family of their own.  Sure they could adopt or become a big sister, but these women long for a child to call their own.  They long for a baby. 

Does it really take two to tango?  Do you really need a "man" to have a baby?  I mean don’t get me wrong, women have been rearing children by themselves for decades-without the help of a husband or a man biologically related to the child.  I’m sure you have a Uncle Ray-that lives down the street or a Uncle Eddie that taught you how to drive…but most of those (in that time) were situational kinds of things...your father passed away, your mom and dad broke up-after you were born,  mom and dad got a divorce etc…things just didn’t work.  But more and more women as they get older are “purposely” having “purposely made” children-with or without a man. They have proclaimed that they haven’t found the right man, they are growing older and their eggs are shriveling up!! "They are shouting we want a baby.  but what we are not hearing is that they don’t want the "hassle" of a no good baby dad.

So here’s the question is it better to not know who left the sperm at the sperm bank, than to have to tell someone that Ray Ray is your "baby fatha"?  I often wonder what does this say about us a society.  That we don’t need a man, surely children need two parents. Or do they? 

I was raised primarily in a single parent household.  I think I am somewhat accomplished.  I've done a few things here and there.  Does that make my mother a bad person because things didn’t work between her and my father?  Why is it okay to be a parent via IVF vs being a single parent because things did not work out between the mother and father?  I think they are the same.   I know people who grew up in two parent households and are a damn train wreck. I know folks who were raised by a single parent that are well accomplished. Is there really a difference? Stop spending all that money on IVF and give Ray Ray some play!