A woman's worth...

I was recently cyber stalking on a friends Facebook page and came across his new status.　 There was a Romanian Proverb as his status that read "Do not put your spoon into the pot which does not boil for you…”  Who was he talking about? Me…? My spoon? He better not be….seriously. Was he trying to send me a hint?  OMG, he doesn’t like me and its on FACEBOOK.

As always my cyber stalking made me think about the current status of the single/still dating/friends with benefits fairly young African American woman. You know, the bigger picture, cause everything isn’t always about ME…as I would like to think…

But wait…first, let me confess. I was on somebody’s page that I actually had no business on. Someone who's doesn't boil for ME on a regular basis…but I couldn’t resist checkin’ up on him. You know, see who he is quoting, see if he changed his profile picture, see how he is feeling, where is he going to be later, etc, etc. Background information: We will call him AL. AL is handsome, has a good job, seems fairly stable, no sign of baby momma drama, no sign of mental instabilities, and has that Philly Swag that I love. *SIGH* AL is someone I like, but in the time that I have known him I have come to realize that AL’s just not that into me. Seriously. I mean a girl knows when a guy wants her. No matter how busy he is, not matter how many other obligations he has-she knows. She can feel it. The thought of Al gives me butterflies…The site of AL gives me butterflies…but I don’t think I give him butterflies. Insert teardrops here----> _______________.

What I have come to learn (over and over and over again), is that men are predators by nature. When they want something THEY go after it…and frankly I don’t think he has been acting very "predator like" since…well….ever. Anyway, I digress. Okay, no more cyber stalking. I promise.

The moral of the story...that I haven’t gotten to, because I had to do so much explaining-as you know background information is key to making an informed decision-is that we as women need to know our worth. I know it sounds like my settling blog, but keep up, its my know your worth blog. #thanks

When is enough, enough?  Let’s take a trip down memory lane….Remember the sitcom, The Parkers. Remember Monique’s character, she played the role of Nicole "Nikki" Parker and she LOVED herself some Professor Oglesby. Everywhere he was, she showed up. If he liked it, she loved it. The unfortunate part of the story is that man ran from her, he hid from her; he did nothing to give her the inclination that he liked her. He ignored her. He did nothing to receive her affection and she kept trying. Episode after episode. It was always something new. She kept on. She chased him-hard. Each week we sat at home and we laughed at Nikki, when it went into syndication and they showed re-runs we watched intensely. Not realizing the sad part of the story is that there is a little Nikki in many of us. Sure it was funny on the television show, but in real life it really isn’t. In real life, women that act like that start to look desperate, lonely, uncomfortable with being by themselves-in addition to being just plan annoying.　

Women WE need to know our worth. We need to make them work for IT and reciprocate IT. We are worth working for. Work for our attention, affection, our intimacy, our love.  It really doesn’t take much. Just a little effort. If he is not "boiling for you"-courting, dating, perusing, pursuing, calling, texting, facebooking, tweeting, bbm’ing you...then Ladies you definitely need to take YOUR spoon elsewhere. You don’t need him to tell you he isn’t interested. The signs are there. No need in having your spoon sit in hot water-for nothing-it needs to be bubbling. Make him chase you, you need to be prayed preyed on…In other words, if he isn’t working to get your attention or you then you gotta move….take the hint (or hints) and try a new pot...

I know I will...